I am grateful for hope. I don’t know that I always have been as it’s kind of like the mustard seed that won’t go away. I guess faith hope and love are all little mustard seeds. They can be so tiny. Even when one thinks they have no longer sight of them and we cannot see them for a moment somehow they are still there. Playing hide and seek to help us to become more playful. At times I have thought if you die enough times in your heart eventually you will die to the point it doesn’t hurt anymore. And though I have longed deeply to be free from pain. The pain is still in my heart and I don’t know that we are supposed to let go of it. Which has placed me in a predicament. Do I try to get rid of all my pain? Or learn to actually finally be able to see it more clearly so I can acknowledge whatever depth of hurt I have felt. I don’t need anyone else to acknowledge my hurt. That’s not worth a thing to me but to be able to see things for what they are has I guess always been the goal. Just seeing what’s in front of me and loving it I a nurturing kind way for it and learning to actually be kind in an all around helpful way. Pain just wants to be seen and loved. We don’t need to fight it anymore. Help me to see the pain and love appropriately in ways most like to be recognized received and accepted.
Learning to love life one moment at a time
